2004

Final SOMBILLA Standings 2003-2004                   W   L Pct GB Gawd B            35 21 .625 -- Constantinople    31 25 .554   4North Dakota      31 25 .554   4
Future Wax        30 26 .536   5
Area 51           28 28 .500 7
New Orleans       28 28 .500 7
Manila Folders    23 33 .411 12 TTFKA Bay City    18 38 .321 17

League leaders
Team by team stats

MVP - Jim Thome, Future Wax Cy Young - AJ Burnett, Gawd B Manager of the Year - Eric

World Series at Brighton 3/17/04 Gawd B d. North Dakota 4 games to 1Playoffs: Sunday March 7
Gawd B d. Future Wax 4 games to 1 North Dakota d. Constantinople 4 games to 3

Twits Notes: (5/2) Final regular season home/away records: HOME                            AWAY            Randy   17-11   .607            Eric    20-8    .714 Harold 17-11   .607            Arnie   17-11   .607 Tom     16-12   .571            Tom     15-13   .536 Eric    15-13   .536            Jeff    14-14   .500 Arnie   14-14   .500            Matt    14-14   .500 Jeff    14-14   .500            Randy   13-15   .464 Robin   11-17   .393            Harold 11-17   .393 Matt    9-19    .321            Robin   7-21    .250 Total   113-111 .504            Total   111-113 .496 New SOMBILLA Records set this year: Most appearances, Rob Nen, New Orleans 31 (old record 30 by R. White, ND '01-02, Crabtree LV16 '97-98) Most consecutive seasons, playoffs: 11 (Future Wax 1993-2004) Fewest errors, team: TTFKA Bay City 18 (old record Learned Hands '86-87; North Dakota '02-03 23) Closest to .500 Home/Away record, league SOMBILLA Records tied this year: Longest winning streak, team: 12 by Gawd B (12/5/2003 - 1/8/2004) ties Future Wax '99-00 Most wins, pitcher: 12 AJ Burnett, Gawd B (ties R. Clemens, ND '99-00) Most no-hitters one season: Derek Lowe, Gawd B 1 (1/30/2004) (ties 3 others).
(2/22) As has been the case for the last few years, a wild scramble on the last weekend of the season failed to materialize. Harold gave it his best effort on Saturday, winning 3 of 4 against CN, but ND clinched 3rd place by rallying to take 3 come-from behind victories from BC on Saturday. That left Harold hoping for the Folders and Gawd B to come up big on Sunday and lift NO into a one or two-game playoff. Eric did his part, with former Area 51 SS Tejada knocking his old manager out of contention. But Randy swept Matt (2nd year in a row that a season ending sweep of Matt has knocked Harold out) to claim 4th place and keep the Wax post-season appearance streak alive...Tom gets 2nd place by virtue of a 5-3 head-to head advantage against ND. (2/18) After dropping 7 of its last 8 (including 4 by shutout and one by no-hitter) and 14 of its last 18 games, the former 1st place Gacklonians were reeling, and in danger of a complete collapse. A key 4-game homestand against fellow playoff hopeful New Orleans began ominously when Manny hit a 2-run shot in the 4th inning for NO to give them a 2-1 lead. But Bernie Williams hit a crucial grand slammer in the 5th and follwed with a bases-clearing double in the 6th to pave the way for a 14-2 rout in game 1, as ND's Randy Johnson moved to 8-3, striking out the final 6, and 10 over his last 4 innings. Dessens, Gagne, Isringhausen, 26th-man Hoffman, and Chad Bradford combined for a 4-hitter in game 2 to win 4-2. Game 3 was the pivotal game. New Orleans held a 3-0 lead through 5 innings, but Danny Bautista, an injury fill-in, hit a 2-run single in the 6th to tie it at 3. It stayed that way until the bottom of the 9th when ND had the bases loaded with one out (after an intentional walk to Winn). But with the infield (and outfield in), Billy Wagner got Klesko and Rolen out to send it to extra frames. In the bottom of the 10th, with New Orleans' 8th-pitcher, Percival, on the mound, little David Eckstein blasted a 2-2 fastball (on a 1-7, out otherwise) roll for the game-winning HR. Harold spend much of game 4 scouting for next year, as ND rolled 10-0, W. Williams and Remlinger combining for a one-hit shutout. In fairness, he didn't actually do any scouting and he saved his relief for his final make or break series with Tom on Saturday. Among the many sidelights and scenarios that will be played out this weekend is that Future Wax has a 10-year consecutive playoff appearance streak on the line...Draft day, Sunday March 28. (2/16) Eric clinched a playoff spot Sunday, and also (with Robin's help) put a stop to the chances for a 6-way tie. In dropping 3 of 4, TTFKABC dropped to 6 games behind the 7th place Folders. Derek Lowe taunted me by giving up 2 hits in his first inning of work since no-hitting North Dakota...Last Wednesday, Jeff started his series with Future Wax with Guerrero, Olerud, and Kapler injured. So he injured Sheffield for 2+ games to even things out. Game 1: Down 1-0, Jeff ties it with a sac fly in the 9th (running scoring position because of Nomar error), then wins it on a 2-out single in the 11th, after Davis -- perhaps the league's worst hitter against lefties -- walks against Santana*. Game 2: Jeff takes a 9-5 lead into the 9th. Griffey pinch-hit homers, Bonds homers. Thome walks, and Salmon rolls a 1-6 chance for a game-tying homer, and misses it. Chavez walks and Piazza gets the same 1-6 shot (to take the lead) and misses the roll - game over. Game 3: Trailing 3-2 in the bottom of the 9th, Jeff leads off with a double but fails to score. FW holds on. Game 4: Trailing 4-3 in the 6th, Jeff fails to score with runners on 2nd and 3rd and no outs. Down 7-4 in the 9th, Jeff loads the bases, but Boone strikes out to end the series. End result, 2-2 series tie.

(2/12) Although neither Jeff nor Randy sent along any series results from last night, I was able to deduce a split as a result of Randy's hypothetical season-ending results: "Robin sweeps Eric. Arnie takes 3 of 4 from Harold. Harold sweeps Tom. Jeff takes 3 of 4 from Eric. Randy sweeps Matt. Arnie takes 3 of 4 from Robin. Result? Six way tie for first place."

Three years ago, we were faced with a similar potential situation. Here's how it played out in Twits Notes:

"Holy shit!! I checked the bylaws and they state 'If more than 4 teams tie for 1st-4th, we'll play it by ear.' We could be headed for a constitutional crisis!

From Matt:

It's not a crisis. It's just a reaffirmation that our System works. Godbless you all, and God bless the Strat-O-Matic Baseball Ivy League League,Advanced. (<<<Standing Ovation>>>)

From Eric:

And God bless the vice commissioner, for without his disaster-by-design season I do believe we would not now look like so many stowaways stuffed inside a steamer trunk. Which only affirms my worst fears, that the Folders will rally round their Shemp-like leader and play the spoiler role in true Stooge fashion, wherein the season will end in melee of comedic chaos, and then fade to black abruptly without resolution........... "

(2/8) For the first time in four years, conditions were set for the SOMBILLA hockey showdown. The ice was a little bumpy, but 100% skatable, and definately the best skating in the short history of this rivalry. Gametime weather: bright sunshine, 24 degrees and blustery winds. Jeff started the scoring on a nice feed from Harold. But Arnie tied it up, putting on a Gretzky like move through Jeff's legs. A score off a give and go with Matt appeared to give Matt and I a 2-1 lead, but it was ruled that Matt hadn't cleared the zone and the goal was disallowed (with little complaint). The seriousness of the game was never more evident when Jeff decked Arnie with a vicious elbow near the far boards (other observers would later say Arnie simply smashed into Jeff, who was just standing there, and just fell down). Good passing by Harold and Jeff led to the go-ahead goal, but a pretty pass from Matt led to an easy goal for me and it was tied 2-2. Windchills were around zero, players were tired and sweaty, as all four dug deep after it was announced "next goal wins". Play stayed near the perimeter and close checking and quick reactions reduced scoring chances. Harold had the puck on the left wing. Matt left Harold to cover Jeff, who was heading for the net, at the same time I charged to cover Harold to poke the puck away. Matt and I never saw each other. Time stood still as bodies and sticks became intertwined, and with that, our hopes at revenge, 'iced' for four years, crashed to the ice with us. Jeff potted the easy empty-netter and this year's hockey bash was history... On the table, Tom cemented his hold on 2nd place. Two teams with playoff aspirations came into Manatee Park on a chilly Sunday morning. The Manatees swam in the warm springs behind the clear plexi-shielded wall wrapping the outfield and wondered if there was hope in this down season for the home town hurlers. Randy Johnson pitched against Mr. Homer Ramon Ortiz and it was all the home team early. They got four runs in the first six on two homers from Pat the Bat Burrel, but the sleeping ND bats woke up with a vengeance in the 8th. It did not matter which relief pitcher came in as 3 relievers were hammered to give the visitors a 6-4 lead highlighted by a Rolen homer, a successful safety squeeze, and a bases clearing double for Santiago (2 for 4 with a homer 3 RBIs). The Manatees came right back as A. Rod hit an RBI double and Giambi pinch hit to a hit a single to tie the game. The 9th was once again a North Dakota inning as a walk and a double lead to the first out at home. An intentional walk and strikeout later had a 2 run 2 out double by Bernie Williams put ND up 8-6. It held up for a victory for the visitors as Gagne came in to stifle any thoughts of a comeback for the home team. The second game would be the deciding game as Hudson faced Dessens. Dessens would not get out of the 5th as the home team went up 3-0. ND came back to knock Hudson out and bring the game to 3-2 after six. Top of seven saw ND go up 4-3 on a 2 out 2 run homer by Lance Berkman. But the bottom of the seventh saw Ellis hitting a triple and one batter later Alfonzo singled him in to tie the game. At the end of 10, the teams were still tied at 4. The 11th saw Dotel (the Manatee closer) coming in a tied game to give up an unearned run as Giambi kicked the ball and two outs later Rolen came in on a 2 out Bernie Williams single. Bottom of the 11th had Ellis leading off once again and he struck a double and then Alfonzo once again came through to knot the game once again at 5-5. Dotel held the fearsome ND bats scoreless for 3 innings surviving a 2 base error by A. Rod and ND September call up Trevor Hoffman matched him. Vizcaino pitched the 15th stranding two men and a tired Gagne came in and Bobby Abreu ended the game on a home run. The next game was all Manatees as Schmidt pitched a complete game 4 single, 8 BB, 8K shutout over Padilla who went the distance resting the exhausted ND bullpen. However, he gave up 10 runs behind a 2 homer game for Alfonzo. The last game had Wolf, Politte, Vizcaino and Romero combining for the second shutout in a row for the Manatees as they win a close one 2-0 game over Mulder who gave up only two solo shots (Ausmus and Nevin). Alfonzo and Ellis combined for offensive players of the series as they came through in the clutch to carry the team to a hard fought 3-1 series victory.
...Roy Halladay won his first game after starting 0-8 for Robin as she pulled to within 5 games of 7th place...Draft day March 28. (2/2) Observations from two newspapers before Sunday's CN and Wax series: "I used to play softball in a field behind the old Ground Round (now TV station) on Soldiers Field Road next to the Harvard Fields. Now, next to that field is a little league field with its short outfield and it's 2.5 to 3 foot high fence. On a couple occasions we were forced to play on that field because of water or permit fights, and even our weakest hitter could hit one out so we ruled that hitting it out of that field is an out. The Wax Dome is much like that field, but no reasonable person has made the ruling that those fences are just too short!" "The Wax dome during the playoffs is a fearsome place. They put up all those extra bleachers and move the bullpens into the underground areas usually set aside for batting practice and RATs. The noise is out of this world and the fans make any play at those low fences an adventure that could end in blood on the field. But during the season the jaded Wax fans stay away in droves. One time last year, we had more fans in their park than one of our own home games." -- Andruw Jones "We need to win one game to stay in the hunt for the playoffs and once we do that, then we can fight for a split. If we have to burn out relievers to do that we will." CN Manager Straight off of a home split, CN came into the Wax dome loaded up for bear. They put up 10 runs in the first four innings before Wax even got a hit off of Kip Wells and they left many men on base and Ausmus just missed a ballpark homer in the dreaded dome. The slugfest ended up in the 9th, CN up 12-9 with men on 1st and 2nd, Hendrickson was forced to come in to face pinch hitter Griffey, who was then lifted for Bellhorn who then struck out to end the game 12-9. In game 2, Pedro came in to dominate the visitors in a 8-3 victory as Bonds hit a 3 run shot, Bellhorn added a solo shot and Piazza had a 2 run shot. CN won game 3, 8-5. Hedrickson had 1 2/3 of scoreless relief and Dotel pitched the final 3 innings without allowing a hit with 3 Ks and a walk to record a save and guarantee the split. In the finale, CN's Burrel hit a fifth inning offering for a 2 run homer to break a 3-3 tie put Wolf up 5-3. Hendrickson got the save to preserve a 5-4 victory.(1/30) For the first time in Gawd B (or its various incarnations) history and for the 4th time in league history (says Arnie) and not since 1990 (says Harold) there was thrown, by Derek Lowe, a no-hitter. Three walks, no errors, five k's. Against North Dakota. Arnie didn't have a chance, poor lad. It wasn't his night that game, nor any of the others. His best chance for a hit in the no-no came on his teams first at-bat, when B. Williams missed a double 1-10 and flew out harmlessly to right. It was lights out after that. Too bad for Randy Johnson, too, because he held his own, turning in a complete game 4-hit, 9-k performance, giving up an earned and an unearned run in the 2nd inning. Final: 2-0. Arnie of course did his best to jinx the roll DLowe was on, announcing often the no-hit bid. Harold and Randy paused from their game to witness the 1-2-3 9th. DLowe was mobbed by his teammates. During one of the later games, I found DLowe on the carpet of Randy's apartment, absolutely stinko on martinis. As for the three other games, Arnie rolled like I did when we first met earlier in the year, which is to say with no love from the dice. In the end, these two evenly matched teams mirrored each others' domination and exchange morale-busting sweeps. And this is why Arnie and I are such good friends.ND, which had a total of only 10 hits through game 3, entered the series batting .294 as a team. The sweep, combined with Randy's winning 3 of 4 from Harold left 4 teams tied for 3rd. Current tie-breaker for 3rd is record among the 4 teams: North Dakota 12-8 Future Wax   10-10 Area 51       7-9 New Orleans   7-9 Second tie-breaker for A51 and NO is their head to head, won by Jeff (3-1) Draft day Sunday March 28.Incidentally, past no-hitters are posted on the league's website: No-hitters: 1/82:     Don Sutton, Nazgul vs. Merchants of Venice 11/15/87: Mike Scott, Madagascar vs. Sardukar (2 walks, 9 strikeouts) 1/2/90:   Danny Jackson, Tim Belcher & Randy Myers, combined for LH's vs. Future Wax (5 walks)(1/27) A reminder that you can call up a 26th man after game 44 (i.e., for your final 3 series)...Draft day Sunday March 28. (1/26) New Orleans continued its winning ways, taking 3 of 4 from Future Wax. N.O. was led by known slugger Omar Vizquel, who hit three home runs. Manny, Soriano and Posada added 2 each. The home-and-home series continues Thursday night.
(1/23) Gawd B lurched into 1st place on Thursday, as the 6-team scramble continues...Draft day Sunday March 28. (1/19) On Sunday, the Folders tightened up the standings by beating North Dakota 3 out of 4 for the 2nd time this year, creating a 3-way tie for 1st place...On Monday, Robin was relieved to learn that she has no mathematical chance to break the Folders all-time record for worst winning percentage in a season...This year's Draft Day and annual meeting will be Sunday, March 28, as Future Wax expressed a strong preference against drafting on the following Friday. Hopefully, in the year 2005 (if man is still alive) the SOMBILLA can go back to our traditional draft day. (1/13) The series started out bad for the Mediocre Manatees. Politte came in to hold a 2-1 lead after Wells surrendered a single to start the 8th inning. Manny went down on strikes and was heard to say, "What's the score anyways?" Next Posada worked a walk and Bagwell hit a ballpark shot that just cleared the fence (10 on a 1-10) shot. The Manatees had not been able to get the big hit to break this game open, but down 4-2 Nevin came up with one out and men on the corners only to have Wags retire him in a double play ending the comeback hopes of the hapless sea mammals. The next game had the confident New Orleans manager sending a lefty to the mound in the kid Washburn. (After all the Manatees are vulnerable to lefties) But the Manatees still stinging from the last game came out big going up 4-0 after a Burks 3 run homer. Hudson put it on auto-pilot and Abreu played an adventuresome centerfield until Jones came in to hold back NO with a two run shot in the eighth to ice the win 7-2. The third game was a heart breaker for the Manatees as Jason Schmidt gave up two cheap runs in a complete game loss as Lawrence and five relievers held the Manatees to a single run. This game featured many highlights, but the worse was Ellis Burks being thrown out at home for the third out in the 8th after a Giambi double (safe chance 1-13). The visitors were ready to end the series with the first winning series for them of the year when Ramon Ortiz took the mound for the hapless Manatees against secret weapon El Duque (the forty-six year old wonder). Bagwell answered an A-Rod two run shot with a ball park (9) three run shot and Larue hit a solo shot in the top of the fourth to put the Manatees down 4-2. However, the relentless sea mammals came back in the bottom of the fourth and after an unlikely 2 run Giambi ballpark shot had them up 5-4 at then end of four. The floodgates were open as they then added four runs in the fifth to go up 9-4. The score looked like it would be more than enough remaining unchanged until the ninth inning saw Edgar Martinez work a pinch hit one out walk.   Then Mark Ellis kicked a game ending double play ball that bought Soriano to the plate. Soriano promptly knocked Ortiz from the game with a three run shot that may still be floating through the Florida skies to bring NO back to 9-7. But Dunn and Vizquel could not handle Romero who retired them for the save. Series over, another mediocre split 2-2. A little breather and the Former Bay Citiites came to town. The unlucky Kip Wells started for the Manatees and was dazzling giving up only one run in a little over five innings with the much maligned bullpen coming in to hold Robin to only one more run. The offense was striking on all cylinders scoring 15 runs in the opener. Hudson who has been study gave up three runs in a nail biter as Nevin hit a solo shot early and then Ellis Burks hit two homers (3 RBIs) to give the home team a tight 4-3 win as A-Rod missed two ballpark homer chances that were fortunately not needed to stave off the ex-Bay City faithful. Game 3 was a classic sea saw battle that saw the Manatees go up 1-0 on the young BC ace Oswalt, but a Randa triple and a suicide squeeze thrown away by Wolf had the Manatees down 2-1 top of 3. The Manatees came back to tie 2-2 in the bottom of the 3rd, but Randa answered with a two run shot in the top of the 4th to put BC back up 4-2. A-Rod hit a solo shot in the fifth to tighten the game to 4-3 and Giambi homered and the Manatees game back to go up 5-4 when Kim came in to strike out three straight to hold them close. The 8th saw an intentional pass by the lefty to Sosa, but another walk followed by a 2 run double by Pratt made the score 6-5 in favor of the BC contingent. Abreu lead off the ninth with a solo shot to tie the game. The top of the 11th, had Randa lead off by diving into a pitch and then Castillo hit a single driving Romero to the showers. Rightie killer Pollitte got Jeter and Pudge to strike out and Sosa came to the plate and hit the ball park shot gone for a three run homer. Sweeney struck out, but the damage was done. The exhausted Manatees had a two out solo shot by Abreu, but could not get the base runners and lose 9-7 in 11 innings. The last game was never really close as the frustrated Manatees came out for 7 in the first (9 runs after two) against hard luck starter Buehrle. Ramon Ortiz ended up giving up 2 runs in a 11-2 victory. The lucky Manatees ended the series 3-1, and now have the dominant Gawd B in their ugly ballpark to look forward to.
(1/12) Future Wax took 3 of 4 hard-fought games over playoff contender Gawd-B. Bonds and Thome each hit 4 home runs, driving in 19 runs. In the first game, Eric claimed a 5-3 lead on a Finley pinch-hit homer in the sixth, lost it to a Bonds homer in the 7th (5-5), and reclaimed it on a passed ball in the 8th (6-5) -- only to have FW immediately rally for 6 two-out runs, after three pinch-hitter reaching base, with Bonds supplying the go ahead runs and Thome's 3-run shot putting it to rest (11-5 FW). Eric bounced back in the second game, with a 5-run 3rd. FW got as close as 6-4, but this time Eric's pen put down the insurgency (7-4 GB). Game 3 was all Thome, who hit 2-run homers on each of his first three at bats. GB staged two 3-run rallies in the 6th and 7th, narrowing the gap to 1 run, but Edmonds nailed down the victory with a two-run single in the 8th. In the final game, FW took an early lead on homers from Sheffield, Bonds (2), and Piazza. Again, Eric battled back to a 9-7 score after 7, but the Wax pen held on for the game and series victory.
(1/11) Draft day update: At Tom's request, this year's draft day will be moved from Sunday April 4. We are considering doing the draft instead on Friday night April 2nd, depending on Tom's other league, and pending SOMBILLA approval. If Friday the 2nd doesn't pan out, we will draft on Sunday March 28, pending Future Wax approval (the only team which has not weighed in). (1/8) Last Sunday, New Orleans traveled to Gawd B's primordial goop-field and got stuck in the ooze and gunk of creation. The stultifying air created by the tar pits around the park slowed the bat speed of NO righties, and kept many fly balls hit to left from reaching the fence. Game 1 was close, 6-5 Eric thinks, and in game 2 NO got off to a 7-0 lead, but their bullpen coughed up 8 or so runs, and lost 11-7. Unbeknownst to Eric, Tom or Jeff, this tied a the league record for consecutive wins at 12. Perhaps helped by such ignorant bliss, NO took Game 3, 11-7. It was never really close, and dashed the hopes of the hometown fans of eclipsing the record. Game 4 saw the ballpark effect take its toll on NO, as they missed 4 bp's and lost by one run. Not one to gloat, Gawd B management nonetheless felt obliged to celebrate more than usual, since New Orleans has a habit over the last several years of crushing any team managed by Eric. Season record went 5-3 in Eric's favor, so he had himself one more beer after everyone had left, and promptly passed out....
(1/3) Future Wax climbed back into the playoff race with a sweep over TFKBC on Saturday. Thome knocked in all 4 FW runs (2 homers, bases-loaded walk) in the opener -- TFKBC came up short when Sosa hit into a clutch out with two on in the 9th, losing 4-3 (Robin's second consecutive game lost on a clutch out). Pedro Martinez threw a 14 K, 5-hit complete game for a 5-3 victory in the second game. Kerry Wood followed suit with a 11 K, 6-hit complete game of his own, and was helped by 4 unearned runs from a Floyd error in the 4th (9-4). The fourth game featured a battle of lefties, with Wells besting Buehrle for a 10-4 victory....Bay City has now lost 8 in a row (league record is 13), while Gawd B has now won 10 in a row, the record is 12 held by Future Wax in '99-00.
(12/25) Miguel Tejada hit a hom run in his first AB for Gawd B., setting the tone for the league's 6th sweep over the first half (25 series). The league's 24% sweep rate is almost twice as much (12.5%) as would be expected in a random distribution of series results. Bay City's Cliff Floyd's hitting into a clutch out in the 9th inning of game 4 that would have won the game and prevented the sweep was the other key highlight. The Road Advantage: HOME                   AWAY Arnie 8-8 .500 Arnie 10-2 .833 Jeff 6-6 .500 Eric 12-4 .750Harold 6-6 .500 Tom 8-4 .667
Tom 6-6 .500 Matt 7-5 .583 Randy 4-4 .500 Jeff 7-9 .438Eric 5-7 .417 Randy 6-10 .375
Matt 6-10 .375 Harold 3-5 .375 Robin 6-10 .375 Robin 4-8 .333 ---------------- ----------------- TOTAL 47-57 .452 TOTAL 57-47 .548 (12/18) In last night's games, Matt took first two games, 22-9 and 6-4, while Harold came back to gain the split 8-5 and 5-3...Happy Holidays from the SOMBILLA Grinch himself.
(12/17) TTFKABC stunned Future Wax last night, taking 3 of 4 to drop this once-proud franchise into last place for the first time since the Reagan administration. It looked like business as usual for Bay City when Future Wax scored in each of the first five innings (including 6 in the third) in Game 1 against Halladay, and although BC scraped out 5 runs against Pedro (and another in the eighth against Jimenez), FW sealed the rout with 5 in the ninth, winning 15–6. The plucky former last place team came out strong in Game 2, with powerhouse Luis Castillo hitting his first HR of the season, against Maddux, part of a 6-run second that also featured a 3-run shot by Shawn Green. Bill Mueller, filling in for the injured Joe Randa, later homered for his first of the season, as BC rode an adequate performance by Odalis Perez to an 11–6 win. Game 3 was over early, as Sammy hit a grand slam in the 7-run first against the soon-to-be-tired Kerry Wood. Oswalt did not succumb to a groin pull and pitched a complete game, scattering 9 hits (2 HRs and 4 doubles among them) en route to a 9–4 win. In Game 4, the crafty lefty Mark Buehrle stymied FW (who had seen their catcher against lefties, Mirabelli, injured in Game 1), shutting them down till the eighth and keeping them homerless. Floyd’s 2 homers, along with one each by Sammy and Sweeney led BC to the 8–2 win. Bonds was not intentionally walked the entire series (Sosa was once, which was followed by a Sweeney double). The speedy Bay Cityites ran at will against Piazza, stealing 9 and being caught only once (Pudge on a 1–18). Bonds was held to five singles, 3 BBs, and a HBP in the series. Many players shone offensively for BC, whose manager was too lazy to figure out who gets star of the week, although sentiment inclines her toward naming 5-tool player Luis Castillo
Trade update: Eric trades Hideo Nomo, next year's #2 pick, and a player to be named later (B. Donnelly) to Jeff for Miguel Tejada and a swap of #3 picks, if Jeff has the higher pick in round 3.
(12/15) If you've never been to Jeff's for a Strat-O night, you've missed out on a real treat. First of all, he's only 20 minutes from Holliston, and there's ample parking in his driveway. He takes your coat as he greets you into his spacious, toasty home. For snacks he offers a delightful spicy melted cheese dip, and a variety of domestic microbrewed ales. You enjoy the ambiance of "The Grinch" and assorted children's toy noises while his friendly children, Reese and Amanda offer wise, unsolicted advice. The music is eclectic and time passes without even a glance at the watch. And, oh yeah, you win four games. If you've never been to Jeff's for Strat-O night, your're missing something. On the table, Randy Johnson and Buddy Groom comined on a 6-hit shutout to win game 1 4-0, Johnson going to 6-1. Berkman's 3-run homer the big blast. Game 2 was a see-saw affair, before L. Gonzalez's clutch single in the 7th scored the pinch-hitting Wigginton, as Gagne nailed down the save 5-4. Game 3 was a pitcher's dream as Mulder and Weaver pitched matching 1-1 gems. ND scored 2 in the 10th on a pinch-hit single by Wigginton and an Eckstein squeeze, and Gagne picked up his 2nd save of the series as ND wins in 10, 3-1. The finale was the only ganme that wasn't close. A bases-clearing double by Winn in the 3rd led the way to an 9-4 rout to complete the sweep.
(12/11) A comedy of errors. Wednesday, I sent an email to Randy asking if he needed directions. He had come to my home last year to break my heart in the playoffs coming back from a 3 games to 1 deficit to crush me in seven games. But he had taken the train then and he has been married and moved and ... After doing that, I got a phone call from our Medicine Director at Newton Wellesley Hospital about our latest round of tests. I immediately shifted into making an appointment for the next day at Brigham & Women's. Randy wrote me back at 5:21 at work after I left double checking directions to my old apartment in Sharon. (Where he has never been.) So next day, I had to take the whole day off because of the inconvenient appointment time combined with a need to drive to an unfamiliar hospital. I got home by the end of the day (5:30-6:00) exhausted. Seven comes by and my wife starts on making the phone calls to parents about reality. She does not pick up the first interrupt because she is a little out of it. The second interrupt is Randy lost trying to find the old apartment. I get on and direct him to our home. So the series starts at 8:30. Game 1 had a classic matchup between Kip Wells and Greg Maddux and CN jumps up 4-0 after two and Kip jus cruises through 8 innings with a 5-1 lead. At this point, the Wax relief crew poured gasoline on the game. Three straight singles and a double plates 3 runs and Randy throws in the towel leaving the now tired Jiminez to try and close out. Phelps immediately hits a tired long single and A. Rod hits a home run to give CN a 11-1 lead. Kip tried to close out the game, but Bonds greeted him with a BPHR (2) followed by back to back homers by Sheffield and Thome and then a walk drive Kip to the showers. Dotel was able to handle the resurgence and the game ended 11-4. Game 2 had Future Wax coming out big (carrying over from the 9th of the first game) with 3 straight singles, a lineout (BPS*) and then a grand slam for Sheffield. After the dust settled, Hudson was tired, nine men had batted and Wax lead 5-0. CN threw in the towel by immediately pulling the limited Phelps for Burks and in the middle of 5th with a tired Hudson pitching still the score was 7-1. But no one told the CN players, has A. Rod hit a 3 run shot to punctuate a 4 run 5th that brought the game to 7-5. Seeing some hope, CN brought in Romero to start the 6th. The defense crumbled as sure handed Mark Ellis kicked an easy grounder (double play ball) and Burrel could not reach a Bonds liner that fell for a short double. Gary Sheffield then hit another grand slam before Chavez grounded out and Nomar (who started the inning with a double) struck out to end the inning after seven men scored bringing the score to 14-5. CN disheartened did not score until the bottom of the 7th when Burrel hit a 2 out double, A. Jones hit a 2 run homer and Alfonzo hit a solo shot to bring the game to 14-8 and tire Kerry Wood. Vizcaino, who had come in somewhere in the 7 run blood bath inning, got into the groove and did not allow another run and the score was still 14-8 in the bottom of the 8th. Wood got two quick outs even in his tired state, and then Burks and Giambi came up and suddenly there were men on 2nd and 3rd for a A. Rod. After a pause, A. Rod hit a 2 run tired long single of wood and the Bullpen came in. Burrel walked and Nevin pinch hit for Andrew Jones and his 3 run shot brought the game to 14-13. Vizcaino struck out the side in the ninth and defensive goat Ellis lead off the 9th by working a walk from Williamson. Abreu after a passed ball, missed a ball park single (Randy, "Your park might cost you this game.") and then Burks hit a walk off ball park homer to win the game 15-14 . Game 3, it was late and Wax was on the ropes, but we had Jeff 2-0 in the last series and the better team came back to crush us and we had shot our offensive wad as it was. Wolf held Wax scoreless in the first and CN Roto fav Wade Miller started to pitch and next thing we know 11 men bat, Bonds boots a ball and Alfonzo hits a 3 run shot as Wade found himself tired and down 5-0. Down 7-0, Wax came out big in the third knocking Wolf out of the game and scoring 6 runs. Suddenly, the bullpens are in play as Rincon comes in but CN still scratches out 3 more runs in the next three innings to go up 10-6 after five innings. The ninth inning starts up with Dotel on the mound. Back to back homeruns (Bellhorn and Chavez) left Dotel vulnerable as Salmon hit a liner that Burrel once again could not catch up to as it falls in for a double sending Dotel to the showers with one out and the tying run coming to the plate in the form of Thome. Hendrickson came in and Thome hit a shallow fly to RF (RFx) and then Schneider who has to bat with Wax's bench empty and after a wild pitch got Salmon to third, he weekly grounds out for the out. Final score 10-8. Game 4, it is now after midnight and after a chatty conversation with the wife Randy came out trying to scratch out the final game. Ortiz faced D. Wells and Burrel hit a first inning homer to put CN up 1-0. Piazza, who had grounded out and injured himself in the first game of the series and was now back and the obvious reason for Wax's 3 straight losses, homered to tie the game. After an inning that saw two infield errors for the Wax that plated a run and put men at the corners with no outs, D. Wells asserted his veteran wiley lefty status to get a line out and a double play to hold CN to a paltry 2-1 lead. Bonds asserted himself in the third with a 2 run homer to give Wax the 3-2 lead. CN survived bases loaded in the 7th as Sheffield hit into a triple play (line out max followed by a 1) to bring the score to 4-2. An RBI ground for Burks in the 7th had CN down 4-3 going into the ninth. Phelps pinch hit in the ninth, and Randy brought in the pitcher with his best match up only to give up a homer to tie the game 4-4. The tenth had three walks and three strikeouts for Wax as Hendrickson held them scoreless. The bottom of the 12th came around and it was still tied. Wax had the talented Santana in to face the week part of the CN lineup, when Abreu lead off with a single and then Barret struck out to bring up Andrew Jones. CN's Manager made some statement like "At least he still has some power" He does not have much against a lefty, but I was looking at the N even though he only has one ballpark vs. lefties and Santana has one ballpark homer vs righties, but .... Ball park homer off of Santana's card, and it is deep and gone for a 2 run walk off homer. CN sweeps Wax taking the final game 6-4 in 12.

Gackle, ND -- The much maligned Manila Folders made their way to Gackle Park last night content to win a single game, and hoping for a split. Instead they nearly swept the first place Dakotians, taking the first three games, and nearly winning the fourth. The temperatures in Gackle were sub-zero, but Manila starter Russ Ortiz was red hot in game one. "Folderball" of old returned briefly as Suzuki singled to lead off the game, and was moved to third on a hit-and-run long single by Polanco. After a Giles strike out, an Ordonez short single brought the run home. Ortiz cruised the rest of the game, finishing with a three hit complete game. Final score: 3 - 1 Manila. Game two saw the Folder bats explode as never before. Batting around in the second *and* the sixth inning, the Folders were leading 27 - 3 (!!) in the top of the eighth when the ND manager, who had been happy to leave Dessens in to "take one for the team", suddenly crinkled his brow when talk of the most runs scored in a SOMBILLA game came up. He ran upstairs to check the League records and realized 29 runs was the mark (reached three times, incidentally once by North Dakota!). With two on and nobody out, Manila was within reach of immortality. Buddy Groom came in, induced a double play then another ground out and Manila's hopes were dashed. (Once we realized he was closing in on the record,we both started managing like it was 4-3, instead of 27-3. I brought in Groom, Matt pinch-hit a couple of guys, I put in a couple of defensive replacements, etc.) Final: 27 - 3 Manila. Some stats from the remarkable Manila game: Ordonez 5 for 8, all singles, 4 RBI; Polanco 5 for 6, 1 BB; Hunter 4 for 6, 1 BB, 2 HR 5 RBI; Hinske 4 for 5, 1 BB 2 HR, 5 RBI.Game three saw the Folder pitching take over. Byrd threw seven scoreless innings with only four singles. Manila got all it needed with single runs in the seventh and eighth as Smoltz closed it out allowing only one hit in two relief innings for the save. Final 2 - 0 Manila. North Dakota got it's first lead of the series in game four leading 5 - 2 after six. Then Hunter clocked a three run shot over the cows in left field and into the teeth of a combine working the pasture (which, by rule, is a home run). However, Grimsley gave up a lead off triple to Santiago in the bottom of the seventh and ND re-took the lead. Eric "Gagne with a spoon" came in to close it out with 1 2/3 innings of no-hit relief. Final 6 - 5 North Dakota.
(12/9) I got lost coming and going from Jeff's last night. But while I was there it was Jeff who was lost, or certainly at a loss to explain why he couldn't score, pitch, field, or roll in his one-column--in losing all four games. Actually, his son Reece seemed to possess all the family karma. The little guy rolled twice for Dad and once for me, and had a single and a double for his efforts. Cute kid. Well behaved, charming, eager to please. Jeff, on the other hand, I no longer find cute at all. I guess that goes with the championship territory. After you win one, it's all about ugly.         Really, though, Jeff was a gracious host. Just as I was two weeks ago when Arnie came to Brigton and swept me in my own home. It was awfully nice of Jeff, for example, to score two fewer runs than I in game one. And it was terribly friendly of him to allow me to come back from a 5-run deficit in game two. And he made quite an impression when he missed me with the pen he whipped across the room after I scored a bunch of unearned runs in game 3. But nothing could quite match the equanimity and class he displayed when he bit his lip after I scored 2 runs in the bottom of the 9th of game four, to complete the sweep with a tasty 4-3 triumph. And I don't think it was because his wife Amy was in the room, either. He's just that kind of guy.         Jeff did, though, say that he hoped I would get lost on my way home. I did, but good. After 25 minutes of tooling around the winding country roads of Hopkinton, I accidentally stumbled across Rt. 495. The drive to Brighton took nearly an hour. But I caught a break on the Pike. I paid my toll with a five, and got back change for a ten. So I aint got nothing to complain about.
(12/6) In an amazingly fortuitous bit of scheduling, a major Nor'easter that cancelled most everything in the Boston area the entire weekend had little impact on the batttle of the spouses. While the winds howled and snow piled up, ND took 3 of 4 to tie Area 51 for 1st place. In game 1, Randy Johnson moved to 5-0, scattering 8 hits to win 8-3. In game 2, O. Perez carried a 2-1 lead into the bottom of the 8th. A leadoff triple by Winn, follwed by a game-tying single by B. Williams and walk to Klesko chased Perez. Pujols then crushed B. Kim's first pitch for a 3-run homer. After 3 more batters, Berkman hit a pinch-hit 3-run homer off Hammond, and ND won 8-2. The third game was the closest: BC jumped to a 4-0 lead, thanks to G. Anderson's 3-run homer. A homer by Green in the 6th made it 5-2. ND clawed back, and Winn's pinch-hit rbi double (off Hammond) tied it 5-5 in the 7th. But little Joe Randa doubled in Anderson in the 8th, and BK pitched the final 2 1/3 innings for the win, Beltran thowing out Klesko at home to end the game, 7-5. In the finale, Pujols smacked two homers, while Padilla and Gagne combined to shut down BC 5-1. Star of the series A. Pujols went 6 for 13, with 4 runs, 3 homers, 7 rbis, 3 walks. (12/5) CN, A51, GB amd MF are at the roster freeze before their next game. The series started out on a bad note for CN as Alex "I hit homeruns in the 9th inning" Rodriquez spent the night just out of Jeff's reach as he cried "A*!-Hole" and threatened to tear the laminated card. Back to Back homers by Giambi and A-Rod in the bottom of the 4th of the first game gave CN a 2-0 lead over Schilling. The Aliens struck back in the 7th with a 3 run shot by Brett Boone on a bad pitch by righter killer Politte and it looked bad for the Manatees. Delgado added insult to injury as he hit a ballpark homer in the 8th on a 1 (1-2 chance) and Schilling looked dominant. Then Phelps pinch hit 2 run homer tied it in the bottom of the ninth and then Giambi hit the ball park shot .... a 5 (argh!) and the game was tied. The Bottom of the ninth A. Rod lead off with a Ball Park Homer to send Schilling and the aliens to the showers. Game 2: A. Rod put the home team up in the 1st on a 2 run shot, but the aliens came rolling back and after a 3 run shot by the ex-Manatee Tejada put them up by 2 (4-2). Injury replacement Jason Varitek hit a solo shot to bring the score to 4-3 which remained the score till the bottom of the ninth. A. Rod lead off once again with a ball park homer to tie the scoreand Acevedo came in to stop the bleeding and got out the first 2 batters he faced, but Alfonzo hit a ball park single and then unlikely hero Brad Ausmus hit a double and Alfonzo made the turn looking for the oxygen tank and slide in for the winning run. At this point, Jeff left the room and all I could hear was the breaking of furniture and he then returned with some ibuprofen for my back and Cory Lidle came in to dominate the hapless CN hitters. Wolf however proved ineffective giving up 7 in a long 4th inning and Lidle had a 9-0 shutout in the ninth for Giambi, A. Rod .... Giambi hit a ballpark homer ... 16 (drat!) and then A. Rod hit his 5th homer of the series breaking up the shutout, but alas no one else could do anything and the Aliens had a 9-1 victory. The final game saw the Aliens pull out all the stops with the game was tied 1-1 in the fifth, he bought in 4 relievers to hold the Manatees from scoring while hammering 4 Manatee relievers for four runs after chasing the starter with an unearned run in the 6th and winning the game 6-1. At Eric's he and Matt split. Great comeback by Matt in first game, down 6-0 in the 5th with no hits against Lowe, team storms back to win 9-7. Matt won 2nd game 4-2, which ran Eric's losing streak to 6 games. Eric muttered something about retirement, which seems to have frightened the team, for they responded with 10-6 and 11-6 wins. stars. Paul Byrd pitched like Mark Fydrich in 2nd game, baffling GB with an assortment of manilaguano. Many home runs were hit by both sides, and only one bp homer was missed, by Payton against Clemens with the bases juiced.(11/24) Trade update: Constantinople acquires Gary Matthews Jr. from Gawd B in exchange for an 8th round draft pick...It's been a few years since I've stated the Twits Notes policy. Generally, the manager of the team with the best record on any given Strat-O night gets to write Twits Notes (Unless such manager doesn't write anything. But at least they get first shot). (I edit for typos [unless I write the Twits Notes, in which case I leave typos in] and reader comprehension). The reason for choosing just one submission is to avoid too much of a good thing - if everyone wrote up their series results, fewer people would ever read them (or Twits Notes) because there would simply be too much to read. This policy is a way to arbitrailiy give everyone some quick reading on league happenings and let them get on with their day....Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

(11/23) If you've never been to Eric's for a Strat-O night, you've missed out on a real treat. First of all, he's only 5 minutes off the Pike, and there's ample parking near his apartment. He greets you as if your arrival is the highlight of his day, even if it actually isn't, making his hostliness all the more genuine and pleasant. For snacks he offers a delightful snack mix, followed by chips and salsa, with each manager receiving his own personal salsa bowl! You enjoy luggage while his friendly kitty, Walter, purrs and nuzzles you, as you drink the unusual "Dead Man's Ale" concoction from Oregon he offers you. The small, lively table is a dice-action roler's dream (despite not one, but two rolls resulting in a die disappearing under the vaste wastlenad under Eric's sink, a new experience for Eric). The music is pleasant, the laughs come easily, and time passes without even a glance at the watch. And, oh yeah, you win four games. You get great rolling all night long, and even his park appears to be designed for your team. I even out-pee'd him 3-1 and he never even said a thing. If you've never been to Eric's for Strat-O night, your're missing something. On the table, Randy Johnson rolled to his fourth win to become the only pitcher at 4-0, scattering 6 hits, ND winning 8-3. Game two was the pivotal game. Gagne (I wished I had realized that 'gagne' means 'gasoline can' in French) entered in the 8th with a 4-3 lead and stats of 0-2 with an 11.57 ERA. Two batters later, Finley's rbi triple tied the game. The game went to 10 innings before star of the series Bernie Williams (9 for 15 .600, 6 walks (.714 OB) , 2 runs, 3 bis, 2 2b 1 TR) hit a 2-run double to win it 6-4. Lefty Mark Mulder loved this park, pitching 7 strong innings in game 3 5-1, and true luck prevailed in game 4 as Eric hit into his 7th and 8th dps of the series to kill crucial rallies, ND winning 5-2, to complete the sweep, and take over 2nd place. Area 51 rolled in to the hostile confines of the Waxdome Thursday night to face the mighty Future Wax. Strangely enough the dome seemed a kinder gentler place. Perhaps it was the revitalization efforts which have transformed the Domes surrounding to look like a more rural locale. Maybe it was the often overlooked intangibles like the new CEO (Dede), who created a sense of hospitality, tactfully pulling the strings of a reluctant Randy by evoking him to share his left over Halloween candy with the other managers. Or maybe it was the often overlooked niceties of being able to find parking without walking a mile to get to the Dome. Whatever the cause one still must not overlook the fact that Future Wax is the Evil Empire. Game one of the series went to A51 winning 5-4. Schilling (W), Marte, Saurbeck and Durocher (S) combined in a six hit performance to seal the game. Future Wax came roaring back in game 2 knocking out Vazquez in the second inning. The Wax launched six homeruns in the game in their 11-6 victory. Game three was another thriller that extinguished both teams bull pens won by the Wax in a Sheffield bottom of the ninth walk off home run off ace Durocher Final FW 11-8. The final match was a pitching dual between Pedro and Lidle (with help from Marte, Reed and Durocher). In spite of striking out 9 over 8.1 innings, Pedro took a tough loss 2-1. The series star for A51 was Vlad and Mike Lowell who batted .563 2 HR 4 RBIs and .529 2 HR 5 RBIs respectively.

(11/10) Defending champion Area 51 took over sole possession of first place last night, dropping TTFKABC into last place. With great fanfare and anticipation a capacity crowd of five (two hair suit managers casting dice on the "upper field", the visiting witch locks opposition to my right on the "lower field" and two felines Walt and a party crasher pussyfooting on the floor of 222 Poma Gardens) witnessed Game 1 with aces Holliday and Schilling going head to head. In the game, that can only be described as 'Randyesque', saw a culmination of 7 unearned runs due to outstanding defense by Johnny "butt head" Damon (2 e1) and Vlad led to a disastrous 3rd for A51. By the end of the fourth inning, the score was all ready 11-8 in favor of TTFKABC. After that A51 was only able to add one more run against Holliday and the infamous B-Y Kim. However Robin clearly concerned about Kim's mental capacity opted to lift Kim for Mota with two outs in the bottom of the eighth. Mota erased Jones with no problem to close out the eight and gain momentum for the ninth in attempts to foil the A51 home opener. Then it happened. Mota walk four straight to allow A51 to come within one run. With the bases juiced, TTFKABC kept the infield back and Lowell delivered the ground DP ball which left the score tied at 11 with two outs and Olerud at third. Ben Davis delivered the final blow to Mota by hitting a clutch single to win the Game 12-11. Offensively Bret Boone was 4-4 with a double, home run, three RBIs and a SB. In game two the pace was greatly quickened. Vazquez showed tremendous poise and pitched an 8 inning 2 earned run gem. TTFKABC threatened in the ninth by "wiping out the Pratt" but Marte and Droucher (S) squelched the really. Final score A51 4-2. In game three Lidle (W) and Weaver (S) lead A51 to a 7-2 victory. In game four an A51 sweep was averted by yet another masterful pitching performance by Mussina (See last recap -same quote slightly different numbers). This time a very disgruntled Moose said "Hey I did my job, pitching (fill in number here) 6 and giving up only (fill in number here) 10 hits and (fill in number here) 7 earned runs, it up to the offense to do their job".   TTFKABC won 9-5

(11/6) Parity reached the SOMBILLA, at least for one night, as the evening ended in two splits. At Gackle Park, ND won it's home opener 6-3, thanks to Klesko's 3-run homer following Tom's intentional walk to Pujols that broke a 3-3 tie in the 7th. The Manatees came back to tie the series, 7-5, led by Burrell's 4 rbi's and solid pitching by Tim Hudson. ND was all set to win game 3, holding an 8-3 lead in the 8th. After A-Rod's 3-run homer with none out made it an 8-6 game, Eric Gagne was summoned. 6 runs and one blown save later, CN walked away with the 12-6 win. ND gained the split on a combined 8-hitter by Dessens, Groom and the redeened Gagne, 2-1, in the finale...Across the table, Manila surprised mighty Future Wax in a close series where three games were decided by one run. Future Wax erased a 6-run deficit to take their home opener 11-10, capped by a Thome grand slam in the 8th. The Folders then turned the tables, capitalizing on fomer Folder Eric Chavez's error to score 3 unearned runs in the 7th to take an 8-7 lead which Smoltz nailed down. In the third game, FW fought back from 0-7 to 6-7 (Mirabelli grand slam) but left the bases loaded in the 7th, and were shut down by Grimsley and Smoltz (0 H, 1 W in 2-2/3). The final game was knotted at 1 after 5, until FW broke out with 7 runs for a lopsided 8-1 victory. FW's Edmonds was the offensive standout for the series, going 8 for 17 , with 3 HR, 4 walks, and 11 runs scored. Thome (FW) and Hunter (MF) also each had 3 homers....Next week's all-league get-together will be the first such event in over 10 years.
(11/2) The much-vaunted TTFKABC pitching staff fell victim to the "Curse of the Pre-season Newsletter Jinx" (with the exception of Tim Wakefield, who pitched 5 scoreless innings of 1-hit ball in relief of tired-in-the-third-inning ace O. Perez). Bay City managed to avoid the sweep, hanging on to win game 4, 4-3, with Billy Koch picking up the save. The Manatees managed to cause injury to half my starters - Durazo made it all of 3 2/3 innings into the season before wrenching his back on a swinging strikeout. Game 2 saw 1B Sweeney and Castillo get beaned and uinjured, while Pudge fell victim to the K + inj in game 4. Roy (Rick Ankiel is my role model) Oswalt walked in 3 runs in the 5th inning of game 3, but was left in to soak up innings and finished with a line of 9 innings, 18 runs, 17 hits & 9 BB, a performace that no doubt caused the groin pull that will severly limit him next season. Abreau was the hitting star for the Manatees, going 11 for 19 with 2 triples, 2 HR, 5 doubles, 2 walks, and 1 SB - we did manage to keep him a single shy of the cycle in game 1, and we kept Giambi from tripling for the cycle in the same game by beaning him in his last PA. (10/27 ) The dice were dusted off, Arnie went a little nuts with glue-sticking charts, and Eric shaved off his goatee, all in preparation for SOMBILLA Opening night 2003/4! After Randy made his first (of a predicted several) "I'm lost" phone call, Russ Ortiz opened the season in the Enron WorldComm McArthur Dome in Manila by forcing Johnny "Head Butt" Damon to ground to Fernando Vina at second base. It was the highlight of the evening for Manila. Final stats: 22 Sam Adams's consumed              1 bowl french onion dip devoured              9 stinky farts (at least)              18 meatball & sausage enhanced "Folder Horns"              3 Area 51 victories              1 Manila victory
New Orleans and North Dakota split a wacky four game series. Notable quotes: "I hate this park". - ND manager commenting on the Dock Ellis Stadium. Harold: He gains a split against mighty North Dakota! Arnie: 'Mighty' North Dakota? Harold: Sure - picked second in the pre-season poll. Arnie: People are idiots. From Eric: First night observations: Randy out-managed me; Jeff out-psyched me, even though we weren't playing; Arnie out-Elvis'd everyone with his new, long side-burns; Matt out-gassed us (though later I was quite noxious myself, thanks to the onion dip, but too late for my series with Randy) and out-drank us; and Harold out-haired me (for reasons only Matt can explain, he suddenly wanted to compare my almost-hairless dome to Harold's, which necessitated Harold removing his cap; it was a frightful moment, but Harold won; Matt brought me a beer as consolation and recommended Propecia as he ran his mean, little fingers through his genetically blessed hair). As for my series with Randy, though he beat me 3 game to 1, I did manage to out-pee him 3 to 0. So aside from his fine managing, it seems he also has an impressive bladder. Which is probably why his wife loves him so much.

From Jeff: In unusual fashion A51 starts out with bats blazing opening night in Arlington. While other manager (plural purposely omitted) were slow to recover from silly antics of beer bottle tapping, belching and the occasional air biscuit, A51 remained jovial and juvenile taking Manila 3 out of 4 games. The scores were 12-10, 5-4, 6-5 and 4-5 respectively. A51 offense was lead by Guerrero (6-19, 2HR, 6 RBIs and 1SB) and Delgado (5-13, 2 doubles, 2 HR and 5 RBIs). A51s only loss was taken by a very disgruntled Moose saying “Hey I did my job, pitching 7 and 2/3 giving up only 11 hits and 5 earned runs, it up to the offense to do their job”.

From Randy: Future Wax spoiled Gawd B's home opener by taking 3 of 4 hotly contested games. Pedro Martinez hurled a 9-inning, 2-hit shut out, for FW, but Derrick Lowe also stymied the Wax offense, working out of two bases-loaded jams. Chavez tripled to drive in the game's only run in the 13th inning, for a 1-0 victory. A Palmeiro homer was all the offense Eric got and needed to take game two, 2-1. Game three was 4-3 FW, with early 2-run homers by Bonds and Nomar and more stellar relief from the Wax pen, which surrendered just 4 hits and 1 run in 12 innings of work over three games. In game 4, a Piazza grand-slam and 2-run blast put FW ahead early. Gawd B closed the gap to 6-4, but 9th inning Loretta (e40 SS) error that led to 3 unearned insurance runs, extinguishing the home crowd hopes: 9-4 FW.